1. A guy left home he took a left, then another left and then another left then he was home again and there were 2 guys standing at his home and they had masks on WHO ARE THEY?
Answer: They are the umpire and the pitcher. He's at a Baseball game!
2. It is reported that 5% of college graduates get this wrong and 95% of kindergarteners get it right.
What is a 7 letter word, is greater than God, is more evil than the devil, if you eat it you will die, and it will fall on top of you if you get it wrong.
Answer: NOTHING! That's right NOTHING. N-O-T-H-I-N-G is a seven letter word, NOTHING is greater than God, NOTHING is more evil than the devil, if you eat NOTHING you will die, and NOTHING will fall on top of you if you get it wrong.
3. A poor man was selling pastries. He had like, 45 cents. It was under some sweet pastries. He turned around for a moment. When he looked back and the money was gone. He asked a lawyer who was passing by about it. He called a meeting and then told people to put all of their cents into a tank full of water. When one man put some cents in, the lawyer knew it was him. How did the laywer know about the man?
Answer: He saw the cents. When the man put them in, sugar floated to the top.(The money was under sugar pastries)
4. You are trapped in a house with only two rooms, and there is NO door. One room has a fire breathing dragon. The other has a window, but when you touch the sunlight, it burns you. How do you get out?
Answer: You wait until night, then you go out the window. (Or wait until a sunless day.)
5. Joey and Tony arrived early for a football game. Joey bet a hundred bucks that he could predict the score before the game; Tony sneered, then bet two hundred that Joey couldn't. A few moments later, Joey won the bet and just got a hefty three hundred dollars. How did he do it?
Answer: Joey said 0-0. That was the score before the game!
6. A rich man had three sons. When he was dying, he decided that the wisest son would inherit all his property. The man called his sons and said, "Whoever can completely fill this room with whatever object you decide will get all my property." He gave them only five dollars for the job. The eldest went to the barn and brought in a dozen bales of hay; but that only covered the corners. The middle child, a gallant man, went to the market and bought sacks of peaco*ck feathers; but that only filled the floor. The youngest child, a humble and smart boy, went to a vendor and bought two small things and pocketed them. When he showed them to his father, the rich man said, "You are truly the wisest. Now everything I own is yours." What did the youngest child buy?
Answer: He bought a candle and a box of matches. The youngest filled the room with light.
7. A detective was solving the mystery of Mr. Port's murder. The first suspect, Port's ex-wife, said, "I was at the Opera, when I decided to go to Port's house because I left my purse. But I found him dead!" She sobbed. The second suspect, Mr. Port's neighbor, said, "I was watching TV when I heard a scream. I went over and, to see better, wiped the frost off the window. But I found him dead!" He sighed. The third suspect, Mr. Port's cousin, said, "I was drinking a beer a street away from Cousin's home when I spotted someone rushing with a bloody knife. I suspected the worst, so I went to his home. But I found him dead!" He wiped a tear. Now the detective knew who did it and arrested the murderer. Who was it?
Answer: Mr. Port's neighbor. He said he wiped the frost off the window; but frost builds up in the inside of the window.
8. You are trapped in a house that is rather normal. All the doors are locked, and all the windows are bolted shut. How will you escape?
Answer: Find a screwdriver and unbolt a window OR Get a key and unlock the doors.
